you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
