A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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