My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
