Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
that is very illegal...i love you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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