I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
