I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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