i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize