found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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