We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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