D3 body, D1 cock
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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