he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
