I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
