He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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