"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
