the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
