I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
