It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
