Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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