That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
