If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His hands were made for my vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize