I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
