Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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