if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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