Just cropdusted the office
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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