It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize