I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
