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i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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