Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
