Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize