So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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