Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
