Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize