Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
