Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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