you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
So much rum. So many feels.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
