Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
