you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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