I will die if light touches me.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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