How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
