We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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