im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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