weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
