She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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