and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
