Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
