I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
