you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
