Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
