why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
