What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
