I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We named our party play list daddy issues
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize