Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
