He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
