so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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