I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
