this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
