Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was CRYING into my vagina
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize