i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
