How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
