Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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