unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
