remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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