i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
