were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
