I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Two words: blizzard sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
