My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
