she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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