Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
