Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
someone owes me an orgasm
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
