Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
