My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
