Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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