Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can text with my tongue
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize