Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
