If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
tell me about the eggs
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
