oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
