She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Omg I joined a choir last night...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
