she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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