You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
