ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
