I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
