Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
