Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
