if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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