Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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